..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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