I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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