i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
