shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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