check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
