she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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