you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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