Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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