He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
