the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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