You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
