Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I need water and some morals
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
