Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
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