He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
