so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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