blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
