Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
