Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
