Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
