I want to walk on stilts...naked
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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