I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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