You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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