You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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