what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
