you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
