sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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