Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
