How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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