We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
