at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
