do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
