Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
