I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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