Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
