I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Mom said you looked used
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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