he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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