That's when you crack a 10am beer
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
