I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
