We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
