You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
