My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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