we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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