Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize