I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am one with the molecules
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
