he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
