I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
