We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
