The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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