Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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