Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
