I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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