He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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