maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
