She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
