i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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