For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize