Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Watching her eat just hurts me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
MIDGETS
????
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
