I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
